My Own Worst Enemy

I’ve been feeling frustrated lately and I know it’s my own damn fault.  I keep falling into my own trap of wasting time when I could be using it for creative endeavors.  Granted, I don’t always have the free time in between my Day Job responsibilities to sneak in some daily words, but it’s mid-February and I already see that I’m falling back into timewasting habits.

Mind you, I haven’t completely turned into a lazy-ass who dreams of being a writer but never quite gets there, never putting word to paper or screen.  I’m delivering some decent word count on the Walk in Silence project as of late.  I’ve also been having a lot of fun with my art, playing around with a comic version of A Division of Souls for my weekly art exercise (this isn’t top priority at this point, as my art still needs a hell of a lot of work).  And I’ve been doing a lot of guitar playing.

Boiling it down:  I have a lot of Best Laid Plans coming up against an easily-distracted mind.  There’s a reason I have multiple calendars and a whiteboard schedule…if I didn’t, my output would be much lower.  But it’s also a matter of finding the willingness to make good on those plans: I can’t just be “in the mood” or “inspired by the music I’m listening to” or whatever else puts me in the correct mindset.  I have to make myself want to achieve these goals, or else they’ll just remain Best Laid Plans.

We’re all our own worst enemy at times.  How do you combat it?  What do you do to clear those hurdles?

4 thoughts on “My Own Worst Enemy

  1. While it’s great to have a schedule and stick to it, we are also human beings and not robots.

    I try to do something every day. I keep it basic: “get that paintbrush wet”. In other words, I focus on process, not product. Sometimes I come up with marvelous things (great product), sometimes I don’t.

    And then something I have learned the hard way: even when I’m not painting, my mind is working, planning, strategizing, etc. if I try and force myself when I haven’t “processed” it all out, it will be frustrating. If I allow it to complete the process and then I tackle it, the result is almost magical.

    Add this to the muscle memory I’ve been working out and it’s a decent effect.

    How did this even start? Personal Inspiration. I met someone a little older than I who was a professional musician. And I thought, that could be me. But he has made a career, a livelihood out of his art. How? By focusing. By mastering his craft. By working every day to be the best that he can be.

    It was the fire I needed.

  2. Sorry, one more- also recently read somewhere – those manual tasks that we do that sometimes lead to great ideas or solutions to problems? While active, those tasks are also allowing your/my brain to quiet and process in peace. #washingdishes

    • Thanks! Definitely food for thought!
      Focus–or lack thereof–seems to bee my issue here. I know for a fact I’m being lazy. A bad case of what I call the Don’t Wanna’s. That’s partly why I have the whiteboard schedule…to get myself out of that rut. The problem here isn’t that I’ve put a lot on my plate, but that my brain would rather watch YouTube videos and refresh the Twitter feed. I don’t mind having a relaxing day off now and again, and I never feel guilty for doing so…but I get annoyed with myself when I set out to do something, only to purposely distract myself instead.

      • It’s hard for me to imagine that my stories will offer any help outside of “yeah, me too”, because our motivations are so individual. What bugs me won’t necessarily bug you, vice versa, etc. so pls just consider my words a “me, too” and “you aren’t alone in this”. 🙂

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