Thirty Years On: September 1996

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The answer to my job frustrations lay in a newspaper want-ad my mom saw in the Sunday paper in the early half of September. A new record store was opening in the recently opened new mall in Marlborough — out in the middle of nowhere yet perfectly placed where I-280 and Route 495 meet, two major highways in the state. Solomon Pond Mall had been built earlier in the year and was still bringing in new tenants when the HMV chain chose to open one there. They’ve long been a UK institution yet began expanding in the US in the early 90s. I’d gone to the one in Harvard Square in Cambridge a few times during my time in Boston. And their selection was excellent: they weren’t afraid to carry titles that weren’t on the national charts, and many music nerds like me loved that.

Me? Work at a record store? I mean, come on. Have you met me??

Especially since I had both retail and shipping/receiving experience, which they were looking for. I sent in a resume immediately. They responded back quickly with interest, first with a quick phone pre-interview and then a second in-person interview later on with the manager. That would take place in the food court of the mall, and by the end of it I believed I was a shoo-in. They would call about a week later with an offer, which I of course accepted!

And then came the next problem to be solved: how the hell do I get there? That was also answered by my mom who knew a few car dealership owners due to her job and asked around. In short order, so we found a beater for me: a 1992 blue Chevy Cavalier for $2000. Paperwork signed and filed, I was ready to go on my first day, which was 23 September.

How do I know this date without looking it up? Because my first day was actually getting training at the Harvard Square store the day before Sheryl Crow’s self-titled second album came out. That was the first CD I ever processed, tagged and price-stickered for the company. I’d start the very next day at the Solomon Pond Mall store.

The next four years were going to be interesting. And my finances were definitely going to suffer damage if I wasn’t careful with my purchases. Thank heavens for promo copies, then!

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The London Suede, Coming Up, released 2 September 1996. I’d loved their first album but felt the second was a bit too out there for me, but this third album hit the sweet spot: the glam rock of the first album, the quirkiness of the second, and some stellar songwriting. This is fascinating, considering this was the first without their original guitarist Bernard Butler. It’s my second favorite album of theirs right after the first one.

REM, New Adventures in Hi-Fi, released 10 September 1996. This band, on the other hand, had fallen from my obsession radar by the time this album came out. While I did like Out of Time, I thought Automatic for the People was merely okay and Monster was a noisy mess. This album was a head-scratcher for me then, a collection of songs written and recorded during long and grueling tours fraught with health issues and whatnot. It’s not necessarily bad, but it’s patchy and contains a lot of filler. And yet this is the one that a lot of latter-era fans think is one of their best, and critics couldn’t say enough great things about it.

Billy Bragg, William Bloke, released 10 September 1996. Bragg hadn’t had a radio hit in a while and this one suffers from not really having one on it. He was a new dad now and he’d temporarily backed away from his overtly political lyrics in the process, making this one sound rather calm and sedate. It’s got some great deep cuts on it, however, including the lovely “Sugardaddy”.

Kula Shaker, K, released 16 September 1996. I first heard this band when WHMP played the “Tattva” single and I was immediately hooked by their 60s psychedelic pop sound that was less a caricature and more a loving nod to the style. I was also taken by the brilliant album cover created by comic artist Dave Gibbons (known for his work on Watchmen at the time). It’s pure psych-out bliss and one of my favorite albums of the 90s. They’d break up a few years later, but would reunite in the 00s, and their latest (this year’s Wormslayer) is another favorite I often revisit.

Space, Spiders, released 16 September 1996. Yet another one-hit wonder, at least on this side of the Atlantic, with the 60s inspired single “Female of the Species”, which would end up on the soundtrack for the first Austin Powers film. But it’s catchy as hell and worth checking out the rest of the album. It’s good 90s fun.

Tool, Ænima, released 17 September 1996. After three long years, the revered alt-metal band that stormed MTV with its weird-ass Brothers Quay/Jan Svankmajer-inspired videos finally returned with its second record that won over fans (and gained new ones) immediately. I wasn’t the biggest fan but I appreciated them enough to listen to this one now and again while at work. I even had a promo tee-shirt for this album!

Cake, Fashion Nugget, released 17 September 1996. I’d known about this band for a while, but it was the excellent single “The Distance” that got me hooked. [It was also the hilarious one-note guitar solo for their cover of “I Will Survive” that sold me.] I’d borrow the store copy and listen to it up back quite frequently, eventually getting my own copy which I still visit every now and again. It’s a really fun album full of quirky alt-rock melodies that get stuck in your head.

Various Artists, Hang the DJ: Modern Rock 1986, 1987 and 1988, released 17 September 1996. Most compilations revisiting the 80s tended to not be all that daring, staying safe with the same Soft Cell, Thomas Dolby, ABC and Berlin songs you expect. The track list for these three titles, on the other hand, looked like something I would have made back in the day! [In fact, the 1988 volume contains quite a few of the same tracks as my year-end Does Truth Dance? Does Truth Sing? mix.] I found these at the record store and immediately picked up all of them on cassette where they got a lot of play over the next couple of years.

Moby, Animal Rights, released 23 September 1996. Moby took an unexpected left turn far away from his well-known and well-loved electronic music by putting out a hardcore rock album that confused almost every fan of his. He did, however, release a surprisingly decent cover of the classic Mission of Burma song “That’s When I Reach for My Revolver” which got a lot of play on WFNX of course. [Sadly, the MTV version would take all the sting out of the song with the alternate line “that’s when I realize it’s over”, which still makes me wince.]

Fatboy Slim, Better Living Through Chemistry, released 23 September 1996. Before songs like “Praise You” and “Rockafeller Skank” permeated the airwaves and wouldn’t go away, he dropped a more sedate and lighthearted album that laid down the path he’d take on his electronic music career. The Who-sampled single “Going Out of My Head” got a significant amount of radio play at the time.

John Parish & Polly Jean Harvey, Dance Hall at Louse Point, released 23 September 1996. This one took me a while to get used to, as it’s not the sound of PJ Harvey that you’d expect. Parish was a former bandmate of hers, and they’d reconvened to put out what would basically be experimental torch songs, including a cover of the Leiber-Stoller song “Is That All There Is?” It was a critic favorite at the time, and I’ve eventually come around on it.

Weezer, Pinkerton, released 24 September 1996. I remember this one dividing fans and critics alike with its crunchier and heaver sound. Those who were expecting light pop gems like “Buddy Holly” and “Undone” instead got weird things like “El Scorcho” and “Pink Triangle”. I for one loved it, and would remain a fan ever since.

Soundtrack, That Thing You Do! released 24 September 1996. I knew this was going to be a pastiche on 60s pop with expected nods to the Beatles, but Tom Hanks pulls it off by making it a spot-on homage to the scene instead of a comic riff. It’s a really well-made film and one of my favorites of the decade. Even the music was bang on, with Adam Schlesinger’s excellent take on jangle pop as well as solo crooners and even jazz. This was one of the first promo CDs I’d get from the store!

Morcheeba, Who Can You Trust? released 24 September 1996. This band’s first album came out of nowhere and captured the attention of both critics and fans of trip-hop and chillwave electronic music with the great single “Trigger Hippie” that got a lot of play on WFNX at the time. I’d be a fan almost from the start.

Lamb, Lamb, released 30 September 1996. Believe it or not, I missed the boat the first time around on this band, though I’d finally catch on a short time later when my coworker Doug introduced me to the absolutely brilliant single “Gorecki”. [Yes, the character of Christine in the Bridgetown Trilogy is indeed named after this song.] By 1998 I was a big fan and they’d be on my “I’ll buy anything they release” shopping list. They’d also have pride of place on the Official Trilogy Soundtrack. Highly recommended.

The Chemical Brothers, “Setting Sun” single, released 30 September 1996. This duo had become a critic and fan favorite with their debut, 1995’s Exit Planet Dust, but they’d become even bigger with this teaser single that’s an obvious nod to the Beatles’ “Tomorrow Never Knows” and also such a noisefest that you can’t help but blast it out of your car’s speakers. It would be another eight months before the follow-up record appeared, but at that point they’d become an MTV staple in the late 90s.

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Coming Up: The beginnings of a deeper (and more expensive) immersion

Dave Kendall RIP

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Dave Kendall deserves all the props in the world for coming up with one of the most inspirational and influential shows in MTV’s history: 120 Minutes.

He’d been a writer for music magazines and the UK press as well as for the music channel, and had suggested creating a two-hour show that showcased the great independent music out there that deserved a closer look. He wanted something outside of the mainstream, something akin to the burgeoning era of 80s college radio which at the time was focusing on punk, post-punk, new wave, industrial, EBM, and pretty much anything that didn’t quite conform to the charts or corporate radio. Never mind that the show was on at midnight on Sunday evening, and never mind that, like the early days of the channel, they winged it as they went along; soon after its debut on March 10, 1986, it caught on with high school and college kids and music nerds like me, and we programmed our VHS recorders to catch the latest episodes. It was so beloved that it now has its own archival website, detailing several years worth of episode playlists.

Interestingly, he was not its original host, though he did show up in every episode in the first few years, hosting the music review and top ten college radio countdown segments, often obscured by discolored lo-fi video feedback. He’d finally come out of the shadows and take over from the oddball Kevin Seal in 1989, staying there until 1992.

His delivery was quintessentially Gen-X Punk despite his slightly older age, snarky as fuck when a band’s music threatened to fall into its own navel, chatty and knowledgeable during his interviews, extremely obsessive and encyclopedic whenever a band with a long history dropped something new (his later successor Matt Pinfield certainly learned from him in this respect), wasn’t above taking the piss (such as the above, decorating a studio Christmas tree with a bemused and possibly pasted Trent Reznor on the 24 December 1989 episode, which also featured the string quartet The Ordinaires playing holiday music and a highly confused Ramones stopping by as well). He even got a laugh out of The Whitman Samplers in 1990 when they sampled him over a Funky Drummer beat.

Dave and 120 Minutes helped lift alternative rock out of semi-obscurity and into the mainstream. So many writers say that the scene started in 1991 with Nirvana and PNW grunge, but it really started much earlier in the late 80s with college radio and this show. This wasn’t just a scene, it was a slowly-building and expanding movement, one where you didn’t necessarily have to dress up or go to a club if you didn’t want to (or couldn’t). You could sit in your dimly lit bedroom and just take this all in while you pasted pictures of The Smiths and Siouxsie and Sinéad O’Connor and Depeche Mode on your walls, wrote your song lyrics and learned how to play a guitar not in the style of squealy hair metal. Prefaced by an hour’s worth of British humor with The Young Ones, The Comic Strip and Monty Python during its late 80s heyday, those three hours together were like an open secret for those who didn’t or chose not to fit in with the mainstream. You didn’t just look forward to the episode, you watched it and rewatched it constantly, because this stuff was not played anywhere else on TV or on the radio in your town. It reminded you that there was more out there, so much more out there than just what you were being fed, and it fueled you to keep going.

It was a show that brought me together with a circle of friends in late 1986, who ended up being lifelong acquaintances because we all loved that sound so much. I admit I obsessed over it far more than everyone else in that group, but in the process I became the go-to when you wanted to dub a copy of an album or grab a few songs you didn’t own for your latest mixtape. And yes, for a while I even had those 120 Minutes episodes tucked away on video. I might not have those videos anymore, but my music library continues to expand to this day partly because of the show’s influence on me. I now get my music fix via KEXP FM, which has carried the torch and continued playing all the best at the left of the dial. But it all started there, on those late Sunday evenings.

As Kevin Seal would often say after each music review segment: Thanks, Dave!

Thirty Years On: July/August 1996

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I spent most of the summer of 1996 not quite in stasis but not quite moving in any specific direction, to be honest. It was more of a ‘waiting for something to come along’ that I was slowly getting used to. I’d kept my promise to myself not to once again fall prey to becoming stuck in one place I wasn’t entirely happy being in out of necessity; instead I made it a point to look for new jobs outside of the area. I’d still have to figure out travel arrangements, whether it was to borrow someone’s car or look into buying my own beater. In the meantime I stuck with the temp job at my mom’s bank until further notice and focused all my energy on job searching…and writing.

At this point in time I was still trying to figure out what to do with True Faith, which had stalled since I’d moved home. I was still interested in it because it was related to my original Vigil idea from 1993, but I kind of felt like I’d lost the plot, literally. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go with it, and I was constantly rewriting and revising it instead of moving it forward. It wasn’t close to my best writing and I knew it, so I was focusing on how best to rectify that. I really felt like I was holding myself back, but I wasn’t entirely sure how to break out of that either.

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Soul Coughing, Irresistible Bliss, released 9 July 1996. WHMP loved this album, especially the single “Super Bon Bon”, and so did WFNX whenever I listened to it during my road trips into Boston. My friend Chris was a huge fan highly recommended them to me, as they were less a straight-ahead alternative band and more of a poetry slam performance, complete with Mike Doughty’s weird yet captivating lyricism.

Soundtrack, Trainspotting: Music from the Motion Picture, released 9 July 1996. The movie was a massive hit everywhere (though I myself didn’t watch it until we rented it at some later point), and even the soundtrack was immensely popular, filled with such a wild assortment of music from Iggy Pop, Underworld, Blur, Primal Scream, and more. This also gave Iggy a huge boost in sales and popularity with the always great “Lust for Life” single.

Tonic, Lemon Parade, released 16 July 1996. This LA band could be seen as a one-hit wonder with the popular “If You Could Only See” single, and yet they’re still going strong today. This debut is a great record — the opener single “Open Up Your Eyes” is also a banger — and it’s worth checking out. I got to see them open for The Verve Pipe later in the year.

Chimera, Earth Loop, released 23 July 1996. I wouldn’t hear this for another few months when I finally found what would then be my dream job, and it was one of the first promo cds I’d snag. They were a sort of alternative-meets-trip-hop with a bit of shoegaze for flavor, and it’s an absolutely lovely record that became one of my favorites of the year.

Hooverphonic, A New Stereophonic Sound Spectacular, released 29 July 1996. This is the album that started it all — and the only one with their original name ‘Hoover’ (before they changed it for obvious reasons) — and the amazing single “2Wicky” sold me right from the beginning for this Belgian group. They masterfully took the darker edges of trip hop and added a flair of elegance and beauty to it, and they’ve been a huge favorite of mine ever since. I highly recommend pretty much everything they’ve ever put out.

Eels, Beautiful Freak, released 13 August 1996. I was aware of Mark Oliver Everett’s music under the name ‘E’ (he had a minor alt-radio hit with “Hello Cruel World” in 1992), but I was drawn to his new project with the oddly catchy “Novocaine for the Soul” single. It became a huge hit on alt-rock radio and started a long and still-strong career for him.

Failure, Fantastic Planet, released 13 August 1996. The first time I heard “Stuck On You” was when I saw the video for it on MTV one day and was gobsmacked by just how flipping brilliant it was. It wasn’t just a banger of a track that felt like a punch in the face, the video was a dead-on riff on the opening credits to the Bond film The Spy Who Loved Me. I bought the album soon after and my mind was fully blown. It really is an amazing record from start to finish, heavy and loud and epic as hell. This album would be one of the first on my Official Soundtrack List to the Mendaihu Universe, and I would play it constantly while writing The Phoenix Effect and then the Bridgetown Trilogy over the next several years. I highly recommend owning this one.

Better Than Ezra, Friction, Baby, released 13 August 1996. After their popular debut, this was their equally great yet not exactly popular follow-up, and yet tracks like “Desperately Wanting” and “King of New Orleans” got significant amount of play on alt-rock radio for a good couple of years there.

Reel Big Fish, Turn the Radio Off, released 13 August 1996. Yet another ska-punk band of the 90s that cluttered up rock radio and MTV at the time, it was a super fun record regardless. “Sell Out” is one of my favorite songs of the late 90s and I remember I used to sing along to this one in the car all the time.

K’s Choice, Paradise in Me, released 20 August 1996. Another Belgian band, this time firmly entrenched in that 90s radio-friendly alt-rock sound complete with (yes) a one-hit wonder, the excellent “Not an Addict” that got play all over the place, even on VH1. I picked this one up on cassette and listened to it quite a bit at the time.

Tara MacLean, Silence, released 20 August 1996. Another singer I discovered during my upcoming new job, this Canadian singer was unfortunately overlooked by US radio at the time. She’s still going strong and has put out several albums, and recently a memoir. This one got a lot of play during my writing sessions as well.

Pearl Jam, No Code, released 27 August 1996. How do you follow up the massively popular Vitalogy album, all while very publicly boycotting Ticketmaster? By putting out something even weirder! It’s all over the place, containing both wonderful radio-ready singles like “Hail Hail” and “Who You Are”, folky tracks like “Off He Goes”, and dense soundscapes like “Lukin”. It remains a head-scratcher for a lot of people for it being all over the place. It’s the album of theirs I listen to least, but only because it can be a hard listen at times. They’d bounce back with the excellent Yield a few years later.

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Coming up: The start of the HMV Years

Thirty Years On: May/June 1996

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The summer of 1996 was full of unexpected changes. The biggest one being the one other time I ever ragequit a job. The radio station gig ended one sunny morning when I was due to head over for a shift, only to be told that my hours would be cut to a few on the weekends. [For some weird reason, radio has always been like that across the board, and it sucks.] My evangelical boss didn’t just cut my hours but said I’d only been hired until she could get someone else for weekday mornings, then also refused to help me sign up for unemployment benefits (she claimed I’d never worked full time when I often worked over 32 per week). The day I quit, my replacement was there looking a bit sheepish with the boss nowhere to be found. I handed over the key and never went back.

Thankfully, my mom managed to get me a temporary part-time position at the bank she worked at, scanning older signature cards into their recently built-up database. I held that job for maybe a few months at most, just something to put in my account and help pay off my debts until something better came along. [That, of course, would arrive in early September, thanks again to my mom seeing an ad in the paper for ‘something I might enjoy’. More on that soon enough.]

This is also right about the time I really took a shine to the local road trips. I still didn’t own a car at this time, and would borrow my mom’s car for the afternoon until I had to pick her up at the end of her shift. After a few weeks I realized, hey, why not drive around town, maybe head up to the Four Corner Store in New Hampshire, just for the hell of it? I didn’t have to wait for my local friend to be available at this point, I could just…do it on my own. By the end of summer, I was constantly borrowing someone’s car to head up to Toadstool Books in Keene, or wherever. I realized I was no longer stalled out at home, doing nothing but listening to music, attempting to take my writing seriously, and wishing I was elsewhere. Even if it was just a small round trip on the back roads of New England, it was much better than nothing.

Ash, 1977, released 6 May 1996. WHMP was a big fan of this Irish band and played the “Goldfinger” single quite a bit at the time. I liked that they were grunge-adjacent, yet based firmly in the 90s Britpop scene, a mix of both genres that I enjoyed.

Butthole Surfers, Electriclarryland, released 6 May 1996. I of course knew about this band since my high school days, but I don’t think anyone, even the band, expected “Pepper” to be as big of a hit as it was. It’s their most radio-friendly song (and that’s saying something), and somehow most stations had to work around the band name, often referring them to as “BH Surfers” or just “the Surfers”.

The Cure, Wild Mood Swings, released 7 May 1996. After a four-year wait between albums (not including their live albums), they somehow managed to split the fanbase with what is either an enjoyable and brightly produced album or an overly long and directionless mess. Unfortunately I was in the latter crowd, as it felt like the band had completely lost their way. Mind you, it does have a few great songs like “Strange Attraction” and “Gone!” but it still feels like a swing and a miss for me.

Soundtrack, Mission: Impossible, released 14 May 1996. The new Tom Cruise action flick — one of many in the 90s that mined the TV shows of old and updated them with gritty realism — was surprisingly enjoyable and well made, and the two other guys from U2 updated its well-known Lalo Schifrin theme song into something groovy and electronic.

Manic Street Preachers, Everything Must Go, released 20 May 1996. The band had just gotten over the shocking disappearance of their guitarist and lyricist Richey Edwards, and had decided to soldier on as a trio. What could have been a hard road turned into a brilliant release — figuratively and literally — and earned them the Mercury Prize in 1997. The title track remains one of their best and most loved songs, and they’ve had a very successful career in the UK since then.

The Wallflowers, Bringing Down the Horse, released 21 May 1996. After a debut that fell flat, the band came back swinging with a massively successful second record full of radio hits that still get played like “One Headlight”, “6th Avenue Heartache” and “3 Marlenas”. They may not have reached the same heights afterwards, but singer Jakob Dylan still releases new stuff under the name.

Soundgarden, Down On the Upside, released 21 May 1996. The heavy grunge band’s last album before breaking up, it was a surprisingly strong release considering they’d had to follow up the massively successful Superunknown. There are several super strong songs here like “Burden in My Hand” and “Blow Up the Outside World”, not to mention the amusing “Ty Cobb”.

Duncan Sheik, Duncan Sheik, released 4 June 1996. I’ve been mentioning this album lately, but it really is a fascinating release and a shockingly impressive debut. Again: it could have been a one-hit wonder, this time with his catchy mid-tempo “Barely Breathing” that crossed over to several genre stations, but one listen to the entire record and you realize just how brilliant of a songwriter he is. The dreamy “She Runs Away”, the mercurial “In the Absence of Sun”, the pondering “Days Go By”…the entire record is highly recommended and one of my favorite albums of the 90s.

Squirrel Nut Zippers, Hot, released 4 June 1996. You couldn’t escape the kitschy swing-jazz holler of “Hell” that summer — yes, another 90s one-hit wonder — but the album is good silly fun. They, alongside Brian Setzer and others, managed to revive the whole retro swing craze in the late 90s.

Belle and Sebastian, Tigermilk, released 6 June 1996. The birth of 90s twee chamber pop as we know it, this Scottish collective literally wrote and recorded this album as a school project for a class in music business, and yet it garnered such a huge following (thanks to BBC DJs John Peel and Mark Radcliffe) that they became a full-fledged band and began a long and successful career.

Beck, Odelay, released 18 June 1996. How do you follow up with the massively successful stoner-rap weirdness of “Loser” and Mellow Gold? By teaming up with The Dust Brothers and recording an absolutely smashing tour de force that still gets high praise years later as one of his best works. From the groovy “Devils Haircut” to the funky “Where It’s At” to the jazzy “The New Pollution”, this album might be all over the place but it works amazingly well.

Primitive Radio Gods, Rocket, released 18 June 1996. Yet another one-hit wonder with the quirky song with the unforgettable title “Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in My Hand” (which appears absolutely nowhere in the song itself but was borrowed from Canadian singer Bruce Cockburn), the band did not plan for it to be such a massive and memorable hit even despite its clever and quotable lyrics and an appearance on the soundtrack to the Jim Carrey movie The Cable Guy. They might have disappeared from public view, but they’re actually still around and self-releasing their works online.

Screaming Trees, Dust, released 25 June 1996. It seemed that several of the grunge bands of the early 90s were splitting up around this time for one reason or another — some reasons sadder than others, unfortunately — but Screaming Trees tried to soldier on. They were dropped by their label after this record, which didn’t come close to the same heights as their earlier records, but they did have a minor radio hit with the bluesy “All I Know” which got a lot of play on WHMP. They’d eventually split in 2000.

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Coming up: Filling in the hours and looking beyond

Thirty Years On: April 1996

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I’d like to think that by April 1996 I’d gotten settled enough back at home. I’d come to the conclusion that my plan to move back to Boston might take a lot longer than expected (what with my crippling debt and all) so I chose instead to refocus on what I could change at that point. I’d gotten the frustrations of 1995 out of my system and started looking forward. Eventually I’d get there.

April 1996 was also the first time I actually had a significant tax return! Well, it was $200, but that was big money for someone who formerly had to scrounge for a few weeks to save that much. And I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it: buy myself a PC.

Granted, it was a used PC bought at a chop shop that had Windows 3.1 and came with a monochrome CRT monitor, but that’s all I needed. The only games I’d play on it were Solitaire and FreeCell anyway! No, this was a long-term investment, one I’d be using constantly for my writing from here on in. I set it up on my desk in the bedroom and it stayed there maybe for about two months before I decided in early fall to move it downstairs into the basement. [Part of the decision for the move was that the PC’s fan was rather loud and would keep my family awake if I worked at night, but the main reason for it was the desire to find a writing spot where I wouldn’t be interrupted or have everyone looking over my shoulder. And where else but in the same place my dad had his work area?]

By the end of April I’d transcribed some of those recent exercise story ideas and expanded on a few more just to see where they went. I may have tried working on True Faith a bit more as well. I had no idea that I’d be working down there for nearly nine years more, but that was the beginning of it all. That was where I started taking my writing even more seriously. In another year I’d be starting in on The Phoenix Effect, which would of course be revised and rewritten as the Bridgetown Trilogy.

Cracker, The Golden Age, released 2 April 1996. Even though alternative radio had pretty much latched onto “Low” (from 1993’s Kerosene Hat) as their one hit wonder, David Lowery’s project continued on providing us with catchy yet slightly offbeat tunes such as “I Hate My Generation” which got a decent amount of play on WHMP.

Beastie Boys, The In Sound from Way Out!, released 2 April 1996. After the huge success of 1994’s Ill Communication, the band took an unexpected left turn into…groovy funk? By now we’d known that they weren’t just meathead rappers but proficient instrumentalists, but this album was such an unexpected release that it barely got any notice other than fans and those digging their jazzy side.

Semisonic, Great Divide, released 9 April 1996. Before their huge success with 1998’s Feeling Strangely Fine and “Closing Time”, they dropped their first official album that got just a little bit of play with songs like “FNT” and “Across the Great Divide”. WHMP really liked this record.

Various Artists, Schoolhouse Rock! Rocks, released 9 April 1996. This was a super fun compilation aimed squarely at us Gen X-ers who grew up watching these animated tunes during our Saturday cartoon binge. It’s full of great stuff by Blind Melon (“3 Is a Magic Number”), Better Than Ezra (“Conjunction Junction”), Pavement (“No More Kings”), and my personal favorite which I’ve posted above.

Local H, As Good As Dead, released 16 April 1996. Yet another 90s band that could conceivably be seen as a one hit wonder (this is that “copacetic” song, natch) if it wasn’t for the fact that they’re still around and recording really great noise rock, still as a duo. They’re definitely a band worth checking out.

Rage Against the Machine, Evil Empire, released 16 April 1996. I admit I was not a Rage fan for a good number of years. To me they were merely okay…I appreciated what they were about but it did nothing for me personally. I eventually came around in 1999 with their Battle of Los Angeles album. Meanwhile, you could not escape hearing tracks from this album on WHMP and WFNX like “People of the Sun” and “Bulls on Parade”.

Geggy Tah, Sacred Cow, released 23 April 1996. Now this was definitely a 90s one hit wonder, but it’s so goofy and positive and such an earworm that it’s worth hearing. Who knew that a song about a good driving experience could be such a fun hit?

Spoon, Telephono, released 23 April 1996. Well before their rise to indie fame in the early 00s, this band dropped their first album that became a favorite with their fans and the hip indie crowd. To me they were a band I’d constantly hear about but never actually hear on the radio. I may have heard one or two tracks from this on WHMP or WAMH, but not very often.

Orbital, In Sides, released 29 April 1996. I fell in love with the single “The Box” as soon as I saw its brilliant video (featuring the always amazing Tilda Swinton as a time-traveling alien). I’d dub this album onto cassette in a few months when I started at HMV, and eventually buy it used a short time later. It’s my favorite Orbital album as it hits that sweet spot of electronica that I can chill to. I highly recommend it.

Dave Matthews Band, Crash, released 30 April 1996. Most alternative radio stations absolutely loved 1994’s Under the Table and Dreaming, so when this new album dropped, it was a huge success not just on radio but on MTV as well. It’s got so many of his biggest and most memorable tracks on it like the quirky opener “So Much to Say” (I love singing along to this one!), the lovely “Crash Into Me”, the weird “Too Much” and the memorable deep cut “Tripping Billies”. It’s my favorite DMB album, actually! This is right up there with The Verve Pipe’s Villains and Collective Soul’s self-titled as part of that mid-90s “commercialternative” sound (as I call it) that seamlessly crossed barriers from alt rock to pop/rock radio with records that would become long-standing hits.

Soundtrack, The Craft, released 30 April 1996. I went to see this movie at the Sony in Leominster that I formerly worked at and was pleasantly surprised that they’d actually done their homework in regards to witchcraft. Sure, it’s your classic standard 90s horror flick complete with a hip soundtrack, but it was good fun nonetheless. And like a lot of 90s horror flick soundtracks, it’s full of current bands doing fantastic covers, like Our Lady Peace doing the Beatles, Heather Nova doing Peter Gabriel’s “I Have the Touch” and Love Spit Love doing The Smiths’ “How Soon Is Now” (soon to be appropriated by the similarly witch-themed TV show Charmed). It’s a fun soundtrack worth checking out.

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Coming up: Summer moods and unexpected changes

Thirty Years On: March 1996

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By this time I’d been working not-quite-fulltime at the radio station, doing the morning shifts from 5:30am to noon, and also on Sunday afternoons to prep the religious programming on the AM station that still ran from dawn to dusk. I was on my own for the most part until the GM came in and nitpicked any slight errors I’d made. Let’s just say that she was one of those evangelicals that threw stones first and leave it at that, shall we? Anyway, it wasn’t the most exciting of jobs and as before, I was never on air, but it gave me time to play around with a few ideas. I revived my poetry and lyric writing, something I hadn’t done for a good year or so. I watched Sailor Moon on the station TV in the morning (this was when anime was finally becoming more popular and mainstream in the US instead of a niche thing). I read books and comics I’d been buying recently. I drew maps and comic ideas. Anything to get my mind moving instead of spiraling into self-pity.

This is when I’d come up with the idea of priming the creative pump, so to speak. While I was getting caught up on the Great Transcription Project, I was also playing around with various ideas longhand. We had scrap paper galore in the studio and I used it to let my mind come up with ideas. They didn’t have to go anywhere, it was just an exercise to get myself back into creative shape. I came up with about a dozen story ideas, none of which went anywhere in the long run, but the exercise did its job: I felt the creative spark reignite, and I was ready to start writing again.

I should also state that at this point, my then-gf (and cowriter on True Faith) and I had broken up though we did stay in touch, very occasionally meeting up with a few mutual friends to do things. I also met up with a few people via online New Age chatrooms and had a brief friendship with someone who gave me a lot of positive insight on my ideas that would eventually become a part of The Phoenix Effect in the future. So it wasn’t as if I’d cut myself off from the world; it was more that I felt a bit lost and trying to find my footing. These weren’t the most fulfilling of connections, but they were needed at the time and helped me stay out of that funk I’d been in a few months previous.

Lush, Lovelife, released 5 March 1996. The band’s last album before breaking up, it was also their most radio-friendly and popular, especially with the single “Ladykillers”. They still attained most of their dreampop/shoegaze sound, but it felt forced and overly polished to me, however.

Various Artists, WHORE: Tribute to Wire, released 5 March 1996. Around this time I’d started listening to my old standby college radio station, WAMH at Amherst College. I had to get used to the fact that they weren’t playing the post-punk-influenced alternative stuff I’d fallen in love with back in the 80s but was now fully immersed in indie rock that I was only vaguely resonating with. They’d play a few tracks off this one now and again, especially Band of Susan’s cover of the brilliant “Ahead”.

Stereolab, Emperor Tomato Ketchup, released 11 March 1996. I bought this one via Columbia House as I’d always liked them but never quite got around to ever buying anything from them! I’d heard “The Noise of Carpet” on 120 Minutes and that sold them for me. I still get the track stuck in my head now and again.

Cocteau Twins, Milk & Kisses, released 15 March 1996. Believe it or not, I wouldn’t own this for a good year or so! I was more of an early-era, pre-Heaven Or Las Vegas fan and felt their later work lacked the dreamlike sound I loved so much. It would end up being their final album as they would break up soon after.

The Beatles, Anthology 2, released 18 March 1996. I remember the ‘new’ Beatles single, “Real Love”, was supposed to drop on Valentines Day or thereabouts but got delayed, instead dropping a week or so before the second volume of the Anthology series. This one fascinates me, as it dials back the live and interstitial content that was prevalent on the first volume and focuses on the interesting alternate takes, like the trippy first take of “Tomorrow Never Knows”. At this point there was still a rumor that a third ‘new’ song would be on the third volume, but alas, time and technology kept that from happening.

Barenaked Ladies, Born On a Pirate Ship, released 19 March 1996. Before the hugely popular Stunt from 1998, this album opened the door much wider for this beloved Canadian band, with the single “The Old Apartment” getting major airplay on the radio over the next year or so.

Love and Rockets, Sweet FA, released 19 March 1996. Story goes that they’d recorded a significant portion of this album project when a fire consumed the studio they’d been working in. Guitars were burnt to a crisp (thus the album cover) and friend Genesis P-Orridge suffered injuries because of it, but in the end they soldiered on and came out with a sleek album that wasn’t quite a return to their psych rock origins or the techno of their previous album, and “Sweet Lover Hangover” became a radio favorite.

Tracy Bonham, The Burdens of Being Upright, released 19 March 1996. She’d become a local favorite in Boston with her indie-released The Liverpool Sessions EP, and for her major label debut she came out with guns blazing and several songs that became favorites on the local alternative stations like the blistering opener “Mother Mother”, the catchy “The One” and the oddball singalong “Sharks Can’t Sleep”. She’s still active as a musician and putting out her own works.

Superdrag, Regretfully Yours, released 26 March 1996. This band could be seen as a one hit wonder with its clever “Sucked Out” (a song about selling out, natch), but there’s a lot more going on with this band than just being a whiny Gen-Xer. They’re actually quite an excellent powerpop band worth checking out, and their amazing about-face with 1998’s Head Trip in Every Key (done specifically as an anti-“Sucked Out” album which did its job by having the label drop them soon after) is highly recommended.

Stone Temple Pilots, Tiny Music…Songs from the Vatican Gift Shop, released 26 March 1996. STP, on the other hand, seemed to be on the verge of self-immolation, as the first hints of Scott Weiland’s self-destructiveness came to the fore. This is a druggy haze of an album because of that. It’s not my favorite of theirs and a bit of a hard listen because it feels so sloppy, especially after the wonderful Purple from 1994, but it does have its finer moments like the above single that got a lot of play at the time.

Guided By Voices, Under the Bushes Under the Stars, released 26 March 1996. This is their ninth(?) album so I kind of gave up on trying to catch up with their work, but they finally resonated with me with the lovely “Official Ironmen Rally Song” single that got a lot of play not only on WAMH but on WHMP as well. I did get this song down on one of my radio source tapes somewhere, but it would be quite a few years more before I finally downloaded this album.

The Verve Pipe, Villains, released 26 March 1996. I immediately fell in love with this album not because of the ridiculously popular single “The Freshmen” but because of their other radio/video tracks “Photograph” and “Cup of Tea”, both of which would show up on one of my favorite mixtapes later in the year. It really is an amazing album, and Brian Vander Ark’s songwriting is at its highest here. I bought this one via Columbia House and played the hell out of it over the next several years, as it became one of my all-time favorite 90s records and became a frequent go-to for my writing sessions, especially when working on The Phoenix Effect and the Bridgetown Trilogy. I highly recommend checking it out if you haven’t already.

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Coming up: The birth of the writing nook.

Thirty Years On: January-February 1996

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I remember how I started 1996: two friends and I had gone out to see Jumanji at a local theater on New Years Eve — and that, by the way, was also when I saw the teaser trailer for Independence Day for the first time and thought ‘HOLY CRAP I need to see this’ — and followed it up by heading over to someone’s house to play pool in the basement. Between the three of us, the past year had sucked major ass in varying ways. You’ve already heard the story of how I’d moved back in with my family after failing to stay in Boston. Suffice it to say, we’d been so thankful to get the hell out of 1995 that we ended up completely missing the clock ticking midnight until about a half hour after the fact. We just wanted it to be over.

I’d been lucky in that I was able to transfer from my job at Sony Theater in Somerville to the one in Leominster (although borrowing a car could be tricky), though that would only last a few months and end in late fall when I somehow had landed a job at the very same local radio station I’d worked at back in 1988. Same responsibilities: monitor the satellite feed, take the readings, play the local commercials, and play with/feed the cat that had been somewhat adopted by the station owners. And still get yelled at by the station manager when I messed up the most minor thing ever. I spent most of those slow hours working on the office PC continuing my Great Transcription Project, typing out (and in effect reliving) most of the juvenilia I’d written from my high school days up to the present. And maybe working on True Faith when I had a moment, though that one was suffering from writer’s block and massive rewrites. And somewhere in all of that, I’d get out of the massive debt I was in.

But on a somewhat positive note, I’d managed to reconnect with that high school friend who also lived in town, and we often went on road trips, mainly to drive around, smoke, listen to a lot of music, and make half-assed plans to move out to Ohio where one of our mutual friends lived at the time.

It wasn’t the best of times, but it was certainly a step in the right direction.

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Cibo Matto, Viva! La Woman, released 16 January 1996. This was an early Columbia House purchase when I chose to rejoin, partly because I thought this was a good way to keep in touch with the music I liked. I didn’t listen to it nearly as much as I thought I would but I did like the “Sugar Water” single a lot.

Radiohead, “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” single, released 22 January 1996. The last single from their brilliant 1995 album The Bends — an album said friend and I would constantly listen to in the car — and the ssong seemed to perfectly encapsulate our moods at the time: it absolutely sucked that we were stuck where we were but we looked forward to the positive moments.

Tori Amos, Boys for Pele, released 23 January 1996. Tori’s music had always had that element of odd quirkiness, but this particular record really went in a strange direction, not to mention that it’s a super long one as well. Still, I did appreciate what she was doing and actually liked this one quite a bit.

Stabbing Westward, Wither Blister Burn & Peel, released 23 January 1996. I’d been a passive fan of their first album, but this was the one that really captured my interest. WHMP — the alternative station out of Northampton that we both listened to at the time — played “What Do I Have to Do?” quite heavily, enough that I ended up getting this one through Columbia House as well. This would soon become a frequent writing session album in a few months, once I finally owned my own PC and moved it down to the basement.

Ministry, Filth Pig, released 30 January 1996. I was at odds with this album, because it didn’t quite feel like the Ministry I used to love. It felt like they’d stayed in the ‘less industrial, more metal’ direction they’d explored with Psalm 69. I never played this one all that much, but I did appreciate their oddball cover of Dylan’s “Lay Lady Lay”.

Voice of the Beehive, Sex & Misery, released 12 February 1996. This was their last album, but it was a great way to go! They’d gone from jangle pop to Britpop-infused rhythms to sugary dance rock here, and it’s super fun. “Scary Kisses” got a lot of play on WHMP at the time.

Gin Blossoms, Congratulations I’m Sorry, released 13 February 1996. After their extremely popular debut, they came extremely close to knocking it out of the park a second time with this sophomore album. It wasn’t as popular, but it does contain the big single “Follow You Down” which still gets played a lot. I was always a bigger fan of the other single “Day Job” which seems to be forgotten these days.

Fun Lovin’ Criminals, Come Find Yourself, released 20 February 1996. There were a lot of one hit wonders in the mid 90s, and this was a big one, partly because of its clever use of sampling multiple Quentin Tarantino movies. It’s actually a fun album, and they’d show up a few years later with a banger track on the Titan AE soundtrack.

Goldfinger, Goldfinger, released 21 February 1996. I’d say partial thanks to the success of The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, the pop-punk-ska hybrid did really well around this time, with several bands coming up with radio hits, like “Here in Your Bedroom”. They had a couple of really great albums in the 90s that I owned.

Brainiac, Hissing Prigs in Static Couture, released 26 February 1996. This was a favorite of the friend I mentioned above, and my reaction was: what if Ween decided to sound like Jon Spencer Blues Explosion? Weird half-assed punk infused with blues and heavily filtered through distortion. It’s not an easy listen, but it is a fascinating one.

The Refreshments, Fizzy Fuzzy Big & Buzzy, released 27 February 1996. Yet another one hit wonder with the extremely catchy singalong-able “Banditos”. This one got a lot of play in the late 90s and probably still shows up on (ugh I’m old) “songs from the 80s, 90s and today” stations. Silly light-hearted fun.

Cowboy Junkies, Lay It Down, released 27 February 1996. This band had somewhat fallen off the radar for a few years after their brilliant Trinity Session album, and this was a surprising switch to a more radio-friendly Adult Alternative sound, and “A Common Disaster” was an unexpected hit for them.

Bad Religion, The Gray Race, released 27 February 1996. How do you follow up with an unexpectedly popular album like Stranger Than Fiction? By staying true to your goals like Gregg Graffin would, coming out with another banger punk album. It only got some minor airplay with “A Walk” and some of the band felt they phoned it in, but despite that it’s a fan favorite.

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Coming up: future plans, writing goals, unexpected inspirations, and the start of the solo road trips

Twenty Years On: November-December 2006

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I survived my first year on the west coast with minimal damage and frustration, which is always a plus, and I even managed to complete the first draft of Love Like Blood on New Year’s Eve! I knew going in that 2006 was going to be a year of transition, focusing mostly on reorganizing my life, habits, and mindset. I did kind of feel like I didn’t get nearly as much done as I’d hoped (I really wanted to get back to work on The Balance of Light but was still blocked on that one), but I at least made the effort to get something done. The day job had its ups and downs, and working during the holiday season was a test of wills and patience, but I made it through.

What would 2007 bring…? Good question. I would work on Love Like Blood revision, maybe occasionally return to the trilogy, screw around with my music collection, and transfer out of the CD/IRA department and into the EDI/epayables department by the end of the year. That job definitely had its ups and downs, enjoyments and frustrations, and it’s the longest one I ever held (I would leave in 2020, y’all know the reasons by now). And by the end of 2008 I’d finally start the extremely slow and arduous campaign of reviving the trilogy once and for all.

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The Sisters of Mercy, First and Last and Always, Floodland and Vision Thing reissues, released 6 November 2006. Remastered and including several b-sides, I was happy to finally have these albums on cd, having owned them on cassette for years. I had a lot of fun revisiting these albums and reminding myself just how great they were.

Foo Fighters, Skin and Bones, released 7 November 2006. Dave Grohl and Co released this exceptional acoustic live record that took several of their hits and gave them new life. “Times Like These” in particular got a ton of airplay as it translated really well as a folk tune.

Depeche Mode, The Best Of Volume 1, released 8 November 2006. One of many greatest hits compilations from this band (and no, there were never any further volumes), this one featured all the hits you’d expect, plus the new single “Martyr” that got considerable play on the radio. In mid-December they’d follow U2’s path and release The Complete Depeche Mode on iTunes.

The Charlatans UK, Forever: The Singles, released 13 November 2006. Yet another best-of, this time from a band that often gets overlooked by those talking about Britpop. I always liked this band and listened to their debut Some Friendly constantly during my college years. This is a really good best-to-date mix to try out.

Chris Cornell, “You Know My Name” single from Casino Royale, released 13 November 2006. The James Bond franchise gets a fresh reboot with Daniel Craig in the lead role and starting off with an official take on the first Fleming Bond book. The theme song got a lot of play on alternative radio, but weirdly enough it was not included on the soundtrack.

The Beatles, Love, released 20 November 2006. The long-awaited soundtrack to the Cirque du Soleil show in Vegas and the first time any Beatles songs would be remixed and mashed-up under the expert hands of George Martin (his last work with them) and his son Giles. Some tracks feel more like incidental soundscapes, while others like the “Within You Without You/Tomorrow Never Knows” mashup take you in unexpected directions. It might not be for everyone, but it was extremely well received by Beatle fans, and the show itself lasted until 2024.

Hooverphonic, Singles 96-06, released 27 November 2006. Yet another best-of, this one from one of my favorite electronic bands that I will always download no matter what they release even before I’ve heard a note. This is a really great cross-section of their work worth checking out.

Incubus, Light Grenades, released 28 November 2006. This one always gets forgotten because of their previous three albums being such huge heavy alt-rock favorites, but at the time the single “Anna Molly” got a significant amount of play.

Sonic Youth, The Destroyed Room: B-Sides and Rarities, released 12 December 2006. In a month that’s nearly all best-ofs and reissues in my music library, this one stands out as a compilation from a band that rarely released such things at the time. It’s more of an odds-and-ends but it does feature the full scale twenty-five minute LP version of “The Diamond Sea” that goes on six minutes longer than the CD version.

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Whew! Now that I got that year out of the way, I’d like to start next week by going back ten years further to visit 1996. See you then!

Twenty Years On: October 2006

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Looking back, I think I was still feeling a bit lost and directionless as far as creativity went. I did have a few ideas here and there, but for the most part I was still focusing mostly on Real Life Stuff, considering I was so out of my element in multiple ways. I did entertain brief thoughts about doing some freelance writing, though in retrospect that ended up being more of a pipe dream than anything. [I did try my best at figuring out how to follow through, but the more I worked on it the less I felt interested and fascinated by it. Like I’ve said since then: I think I’d have been good at it, but I wouldn’t have found it fulfilling at all. And it’s probably for the best, as the country’s economy would tank within a year or two.] It took some time, but I would continue focusing on my fiction writing instead.

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The Killers, Sam’s Town, released 2 October 2006. It was pretty hard for them to follow up their absolutely brilliant 2004 debut Hot Fuss, and result felt less about Vegas glam and more about rural Nevada. It’s a great album on its own, but it wasn’t the big hit they needed, and that did end up derailing them for a bit.

Beck, The Information, released 3 October 2006. Considering Beck’s penchant for switching up sounds and styles with every album — the catchy Odelay to the moody Mutations to the disco Midnite Vultures to the lovely and sad Sea Change to the experimental Guero — this wasn’t quite a return to Odelay but more like a mix of the best all five of those albums. There’s some oddball stuff here like “Nausea” but then there’s the excellent earworm “Think I’m in Love”. It’s kind of a forgotten album but it’s so worth it.

Cold War Kids, Robbers and Cowards, released 10 October 2006. I really didn’t like this song at first but it grew on me, especially a few years down the line when I started hearing more of their singles and deep cuts like “Out of the Wilderness” and “Bulldozer” off 2011’s Mine Is Yours.

My Chemical Romance, The Black Parade, released 24 October 2006. Yes, that song that you could not escape no matter how hard you tried. I’ve mentioned previously that their 2004 breakthrough Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge grew on me the more I heard it. Pompous and overblown? Sure, but it’s also catchy as hell and a lot of fun if you don’t take it all that seriously. This was a rare iTunes download for me and I actually quite liked the album.

Lady Sovereign, Public Warning, released 31 October 2006. Another find via the International Music Feed cable channel, this London rapper took pages from Eminem’s goofier side and released tracks that weren’t just fun and funny (“Random” takes a hilarious jab at Nelly’s weird accent, for instance), they were clever and catchy as well. She only put out one further album after this (2009’s Jigsaw) but allegedly she’s staging a comeback this year…?

U2 & Green Day, “The Saints Are Coming” single, released 31 October 2006. Originally a punk track from the Scottish band Skids (featuring a pre-Big Country Stuart Adamson), these two bands covered it to raise money for those in New Orleans affected by Hurricane Katrina. As it happened, it was released just in time for the first NFL game played at the Louisiana Superdome since it had been heavily damaged during the hurricane. It became a huge international hit.

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Coming up: winding up the year and looking forward

Twenty Years On: September 2006

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Coming up close to the year end, and in retrospect I can kind of see why not a lot of it remains stuck in my mind. A lot of my time was spent getting used to living in a big city on the opposite coast and starting a job I’d never done before, all while I focused on writing a vampire novel (Love Like Blood) that would end up getting trunked and still feeling frustrated by my inability to finish the Bridgetown Trilogy. And getting used to married life at that! Real Life definitely got in the way of my writing projects, and it would take me quite some time to get back on that particular horse.

Audioslave, Revelations, released 5 September 2006. The third and final album from this group may not have gotten nearly as much notice as their previous two, but at the time it did get a lot of positive reaction. Cornell would return to his solo career while the Rage members drifted through side projects and occasional rumors of reunion.

Barenaked Ladies, Barenaked Ladies Are Me, released 12 September 2006. The first BNL album after leaving Reprise, the group recorded so many songs that they ended up saving half of them for a follow up (2007’s Barenaked Ladies Are Men). While they no longer reached the popularity they’d achieved in the late 90s and early 00s, they’re still recording and still have their loyal fanbase.

Plain White T’s, Every Second Counts, released 12 September 2006. Yes, this is the album that contains the unexpectedly popular acoustic track “Hey There Delilah” that still gets played everywhere. I much preferred the single “Hate (I Really Don’t Like You)” and still quote it now and again.

Ima Robot, Monument to the Masses, release 12 September 2006. This goofball band from LA was a favorite of A’s for quite some time, and “Creeps Me Out” is a really fun single. You might know lead singer Alex Ebert better as his alter ego Edward Sharpe, whose band the Magnetic Zeroes had a quite overplayed hit with the stomp-clap alternafolk track “Home”.

Teddybears, Soft Machine, released 12 September 2006. This strange Swedish alternative band popped up on Sirius XM and Live 105 with the singles “Cobrastyle” and “Punkrocker”, the latter of which features Iggy Pop straight-faced singing the corniest lyrics about punk.

Mutemath, Mutemath, released 26 September 2006. This became one of our favorite bands after discovering them on the Sirius XM during our visit back east in October, and picked up that album at Newbury Comics while we were there. A vastly underrated and highly creative band that brings together stylish alternative rock with elements of jazz and funk and turns it into something amazing. We’d get to see them live (for free!) in Golden Gate Park a few years later! I highly recommend checking out all of their works, including their highly entertaining music videos!

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Coming up: Year end doldrums, contemplations and whatnot